Monthly Personal Update
Sandra Wednesday, December 03, 2014
Some of you might have noticed that my weekly posts have disapperaed from planet Earth. To be honest, I have no excuse apart from me finally having a life (and being a bit confused). After four years of working on my blog pretty much all the time, it feels weird being 'away'. I mean, I have put up posts here and there but I'm feeling quite detached from the whole blogging world right now. Lack of time and barely-existing wi-fi are the main two reasons I've been posting and interacting with you less, but while this is something that has been driving me mental, I feel like the sometimes-voluntary-sometimes-involuntary absence also gave me a very much needed break.
In the past year, I reached a point where I started seeing my blog as my job. In a non-financial way, obviously, as this is still very much only my hobby and not my source of income. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy doing it very much, I always have and I think I always will, but I started putting this weird pressure on myself for no apparent reason. I felt stressed out when I didn't put up a post on the day I decided it was supposed to go up; I was often disappointed with how my posts or videos turned out; I felt discouraged by the lack of feedback/views; and I started comparing myself to other, bigger, better bloggers. Basically, I've been digging myself a hole and started questioning if what I do has any purpose at all. I felt like I wasted so much time on it for nothing and considered quitting it all together more times I would like to admit. But here I am, still kicking. As I have said, I love blogging and quitting it would probably do my mental state more harm than good. I just decided to take another approach. I'm going back to the old ways, treating my blog as my hobby with the capital H, posting whenever I feel like it with no schedules or pressure. Screw the views! When I started blogging, my sister has been the only person who was reading my blog. For a year. No joke. And you know what? If my journey ends with just her catching up with my blabbering from time to time, then so be it. I started blogging when it wasn't 'cool' yet, without any sort of expectations, mainly to have some kind of an outlet, so why have I started putting so much pressure on myself? I have no idea. I just know that it has to stop.
On a different note, what has been happening with me, you ask? Well, a lot, haha. I don't even recognize myself anymore sometimes. Don't worry, I'm still the same old me, I'm just a lot more go-go-go. After spending a year mainly just sitting at home in front of my laptop, it feels weird being on the move all the time. London and its fast-paced way of life got under my skin. In the last two months, I only had one 'staying inside the house' day. There's so much going on in London it would be a shame to miss all the exciting things. My 'social' life has been so busy compared to the one back home that I have a feeling I've been living here for years, not just a few months. I don't even remember anymore all the things I've done recently. There was a lot of restaurant visits, Christmas markets, Winter Wonderland and of course shopping. I've been shopping A LOT. From Primark to Harrods, there are very few stores I haven't set my foot in yet. I've mostly been looking for Christmas presents, but I treated myself to a few bits and pieces as well. I'll show you everything (minus the gifts) in my upcoming haul video whenever I decide to film it.
Oh, I almost forgot to tell you one of the greatest news ever. It looks like I'll finally be attending a concert. Yes, I'm almost 23 and I haven't been to a proper concert before. Don't judge. Blame the ridiculously small country I'm coming from and plans never working out. But it's safe to say I picked the best first concert. I'm going to see Ed Sheeran! I still can't believe I managed to get tickets. He's one of my favourite artists and I can't wait to see him perform live in July. Especially now that he's released Thinking Out Loud. I'm obsessed. And possibly in love.