The Week When I Drove Myself to Exhaustion
Sandra Saturday, October 24, 2015
Before uploading my new weekly vlog tomorrow, I still have the previous one to share with you! I had an incredibly busy week, which started with me going to the Pop Up Kitchen event organized by The Bloggers Hangout, and ended with driving myself to exhaustion. True story. I didn't film the latter, as vlogging was obviously the last thing on my mind when I was trying not to pass out, but it was a huge wakeup call for me. I was sleeping for only two hours a day over the period of two weeks, because I was trying to get everything done before my weekend getaway to my home country, and the no sleep, running around and working-like-a-crazy-person-without-a-break combo took a toll on me. Big time. You know it's time to make some changes when even your workaholic mom tells you to reevaluate your lifestyle and slow the hell down...
This week I've been trying really hard to get to bed a few hours earlier than usual, I ditched my weekend filming plans, and just tried to chill and not work, basically. It's hard to get into this frame of mind when you suffer from FOMO and have hobbies that you take very seriously, but I guess I'll just have to accept that 24-hour-long days don't go together with having three full-time 'jobs'. I'm not saying that I'm quitting any of my hobbies or anything like that, but the three videos a week YouTube schedule I've been trying to keep up with is definitely not happening anymore. As much as I hate not being able to stick to my plans and spend all my free time on the hobby I adore, I need a day off from time to time as well, just like any other human being, and trying to deliver three videos a week alongside my proper full time job and other side projects 'just because' is not the way to go, I guess. I feel like I started treating YouTube as my part-time job recently and putting pressure on myself for no apparent reason. I am not a full time youtuber. YouTube doesn't pay my bills and probably never will, so I think it's time to stop compromising my health for the sake of silly videos nobody's life depends on.
I'll be taking things slower from now on. I'm downgrading my YouTube activities to what they are - a hobby - and bringing back the fun factor that started disappearing due to me stressing out about getting things done on time. Rather than focusing on the quantity, I'll try to focus on the quality from now on and use the time I would spend on creating three different videos to improve just one or two. I hope this will also result in the content I'm genuinely proud of, since I haven't been satisfied with any of my videos for a long time now. They are always created in a rush and the final result is never quite where I want it to be, so fingers crossed things will be a bit different from now on. Don't expect miracles anytime soon, though. While I will try to put more effort into individual videos and bring more variety to my content, there's still some obstacles that are holding me back. But you know what they say - baby steps.
Good grief! This post has turned into a bit of a confession which I did not intend to write at all, but I guess I just had to get it out of the system. As you've probably noticed, I've been going through some existential crises recently as far as YouTube and blogging go, but sometimes you need to take a step back before you make a leap forward, right? I hope this fresh mindset of mine will result in something great. Or at least slightly better. Eventually.
Now I'll finally leave you to go watch the weekly vlog below, which was supposed to be the main topic of this post and has nothing to do with what I've just blabbered on about. :D